9½ Inches

Online Rental: 24 hrs $8.99 Director: Thor Stephens Studio: Thor Productions Starring: Vince Rockland, Mikel Fox, Scott Davis, Yon Eagle, Max Grand, Joshua Scott, Scott Lyons, Kurt Stefano, Billy Herrington Rating:

An anonymous, voyeuristic size queen, obsessed with finding a 9½ inch dick, places an ad in a magazine in hopes of finding the ideal cock. The result is an above average production that pokes sly fun at the porno industry as each cast member arrives to show off his "inadequate" but still sizable endowment.
    Gorgeous uncut blond Scott Davis is the first to answer the ad. When he arrives at the mysterious size queen's home, the faceless "Mystery Man" (Billy Herrington) calls the shots from another room through an intercom. Davis finds soapy bodybuilder Joshua Scott in the shower. He watches the beefy bottom lather up, then he's ordered to join him. They trade steamy blowjobs in the shower. Then Davis tops, and the hard-bodied manly man takes it like a bitch. Once the boys are finished, the Mystery Man rudely tells them to hit the road and it's on to the next dick.
    Nerdy but hung Scott Lyons puts his peter to the meter, finding hairy and huggable "sex toy" Mikel Fox in an oversized glass bowl. Lyons gets an oily sensual massage from Fox, then they do each other in the big bowl under some trippy camera effects by porn star turned techie, Adam Rom. Lyons isn't the most attractive guy in the video. (For some reason he makes me think of Dr. Niles Crane from the series Frasier.) He does have one of the most impressive cocks though.
    Cocky, almond-eyed hustler Vince Rockland is the next respondent. He agrees to fuck for free if the guy's hot enough. After a skeptical protest, he's joined by hunky Yon Eagle. Together they do a handy little send up of the erotic eating scene from the mainstream flick that gave this video half its title. After the food, they get hungry for cock, so they trade blowjobs. Then Rockland tops Eagle.
    Next, Kurt Stefano calls from the accounting office of the magazine that's running the Mystery Man's ad. They strike up a flirty conversation that leads to some light phone sex, and the Mystery Man gets a hard-on. Kurt has to hang up because his boss shows up, so the Mystery Man--shot from the neck down--jerks off on his own, dropping a load on a glass coffee table.
    Kurt promptly calls back to set up a meeting, and he's paired with Latin stud Max Grand. This scene fails to live up to its potential. Both actors are plenty sexy on their own, but they don't share any real sexual chemistry here. And Stefano's unusually large mushroom head gets very little screen time.
    Still, 9½ Inches is a good production that puts an emphasis on voyeurism and erotic games as well as the quest for an ample endowment. Ram Fist's enticing, non-intrusive musical score is an asset. (He also provides the voice of the Mystery Man.) And if you're a regular porno viewer, you might find this movie to be mildly amusing since most of the actors at one time or another have been promoted as being at least 9½ inches or larger.